Insomnia, Other Weirdness, and Ramblings.

I can at least say I NO LONGER have mono as proven by the test results after the harpooning. Although I can't complain about the last round of blood draws, the guy did a good job in not making me appear to be like a junky looking for a vein this time. Haven't been sleeping very well lately. Hmmmm. Could it be the friggen meds?! Most likely, sleep pattern gets all in a funk with the happy steroids and other such fun stuff.

Got a bug up my arse to hit the personals for the hell of it. Decided after the fact, that I would rather take my chances playing in traffic than allow myself to be subjected to the less than desirables and idiots gallore. (Thus ends the search for something called normal.) Uh-huh. It's one thing to not have time to get out and meet people that may or may not have an interest in me, it's an entirely other animal to think that personals could possibly produce someone interested in me for the right reasons. It's all a craps shoot anyway. Right? You either find someone worthy of your time or they turn out to be a schmuck just wanting to get some and run like the dickens afterwards.

Far be it for me to complain though. Still sick, not really up to devoting spare energies into chasing someone down. Work is enough right now. Gee-Whiz, me, the reserved, yet subtle Mac truck that opens up way too fast only to get clothes lined mid-stride. It's not really self pity or loathing, it's merely pinned up frustration that has nowhere to go but inward.

So let's see, what else there rambling about my mind like buzzy little bees. Oh yeah, found an old flame, who is now getting married next year. Dangerously flirting with me, just like the old days, nothing ever came of it. No nookie, but not for a lack of his trying. Yet, I get the odd impression that that historical pursuit of said nookie, may very well be a factor again if I choose to be a moron and let him near me and the heart strings he once plucked. Oy-vey. There's still a lot of things about him that remind me as to why I was so foolish in the first place. Please not again.

So yeah, me thinks I'm heading down one helluva a bumpy-winding-rut infested-road again. Only now I see it and wonder if I will choose to just live in the cave like the allegory dwellers or go find my own flame thrower so that no one can cast a shadow my way. Poetic, yet morbid. Maybe I just need to get out of here for a week or two and have a real vacation! Yeah, here's to me looking forward to a four day weekend of sitting around here and doing nothing but contemplate cleaning, laundry, and which cook out to attend or avoid. Bleh. Oh joy, I can hardly wait.....

T~

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin